My feelings

Well well, today i’m glad that my buddy Yong Han, held 1 supprise birthday party for me.
Not just that, i can’t believe that so many friends would come!
Basically, nothing is wrong.I just felt abit sorry for my friends who came on that day, reason i appologize is i didn’t really know there are 2 sides friends of mine which is coming!
Sigh, i think you all begins to understand what i mean 2 sides friend right?!

Nothing is wrong actually, I did intro 1 by 1 to each other but somehow no conversation among new friend led to boring.(Thats what i think) So, i quickly bullshit some stories and jokes to make situation better
Another thing is i think i won’t celebrate my birthday in there anymore! Why?
Well, the music is nice for us to relax and made us felt comfortable but  a little over loud
do disturb our chatting! Imagine you’re sitting in the middle of 5 table joined.They can’t heard whats the other end is chatting.
My mind became blank and don’t know which part should i go and so on.

Ahah, 1 thing i felt cool is the singer over there.LOL, his totally friendly! wished me double times when and after stage.
Anyway, thanks for the wonderful night guys!
As Shakespear said: " To be or not to be, Thats the question!"

Ahah! NeverMind, as long as it end up happily

Thanks for everything guys!

Today, early in the morning around 7am, a bunch of my high school friend came to my house.Purpose? they want to fetch to play basketball.
My mum,usually doesn’t likes my friends come to my house let them in!
That time i was still on bed, feeling very noisy and tired, I shouted out loudly!
Meanwhile, i openned my room door and ready to meet my friends, guess what??
They all had ran to outside and starts the car ready to leave, i quickly sent sms to tell them
i’m sorry and i’m coming down but my mum was so angry.Haiz. She felt so embarrased with my action.
Well, i myself do felt that - -"
It ends up with my mum don’t let me out that whole day and want to help her housework in house!
man, i swear i’ll never do that again!

Today, i met up with ex-primary schoolmate.We had a nice meal and later
on we share what we had learn in secondary life.Then, conversation lead
to ambitions, achivement and so on.
I felt so embarrased to be there and in the other fact, i really suck.
I got nothing to share with them and i’m just like a little child comparing with adults.

Sometimes,
when you think that yourself are too good.Try finding those who are
better than you and have a small diccusstion.Slowly, you’ll found out
that what i had done for this few years really out of their mind.

What
my dreams is to get selangor player, a simple life with normal income,
a person who doesn’t care about his own acedemy.This kind of person is
1 of the useless person in the world. NO future for him and NOTHING he
can do to help improving our country. NOTHING~!

Yeah! They are
right. I admit that i am too useless, i should less online and take
more time to improve myself.I know it sound bored but thats what i can
do now.Haha, I’m sure that ev1 of my friends are wondering what the hell i am talking about but seriously, i ain’t doing anything since june. I wasted most of my time- working and involved in many event such as volleyball tournament. These are good for my health but i obviously keep giving myself execuse and end up with not enough time to study!

Argh! so i hope in this one month time, i can just at least study up and turn out some better result and its was shame to tell that i never even took part in my school exam for some subject once. I admit it, i was scared. i scared to face my own result and evtime after 1 exam i will surely keep away my paper.

I hate myself, that WHY am i so useless comparing to my elder brother and sisters. They worked so hard just to get qualified as master or degree holder and i just can’t even pass STPM! Thinking back of my childhood, i miss my sisters so much which they really understand my personality as well as using some technique to " make " me study. Although is was annoying but i slowly realise that what they had taught me is unseen! Just like those minor cases like taking good care of my cleaness, my belongings and even my schedule to do what should and what i shouldn’t.

On the other hands, when my brother and sisters were workin/studying oversea, i’ve tired very hard to control  myself and  you know sometimes when parents are over trust us. I slowly realise that i’m just like walking backward and my lifestyle.. Haha, sleeps in the daytime and active in the night time. Which make my parents called me " Vampire" !

Yesterday, 11 otc. I went to my school and i was impressed that my class teacher didn’t angry/ignore me but they willing to teach what i’ve miss out! My BM teacher even joke about my attendance to school - -" which really made the relation among student with teacher better!
So, from that time onwards. I promise myself that i must changed my current attitude before its really too late.Lastly, i really want to appologize to my tuition teacher, Ms Lim. I promise that i would try my best to scored in last trial exam but i did it badly. I really sucks in this cases so i guess i better don’t ever simply promise anyone anything! As people said, " No expectation , No Disappointment!"

Well, yesterday i played basketball with some of my ex-classmate and brothers,i can hardly see a " me " in the court which i means his movement, the way he play the basketball and his attitude was WOW~ loOks so familiar.I didn’t sleep for the whole night, thinking how that guy’s act,really reminds the pass of " me".I used to luv basketball alot and everyday no matter how busy i am, i will spend some times playing basketball nearby my house.As, you can see, i am fat and quite slow, that costs me sometimes to get used to it and in the progress of learning i think i played like how a fren i met yesterday.Rude,bad attitude,likes to blame others and the most important was i can’t scored well!

i really felt grateful because of my friend/bros never complain about me last time but they just ignore me, forgive me n slowly bring me up to become better person or maybe we say a better quality players.I remember once i had a buddy, his a very good bsktball player and the momment i play with him.I realise that playing bsktball is not about being rude and showing off among gals.Is about hobby and interesting.He said that he trained so hard to get his skill better is not because of anyone or anything,but just as simply as wants to improve himself to become better.He told me that the way of doing these is not easy because he know that whenever u touched a ball in the court, you wil desperately wanted to score for your team and show off to others how strong u are.Phew~ i know i’ve talked to much here but.. i’m really impress that such a " high status" (national player) would taught me so much. +_____+"

I was very supprised to see what have you guys done last weeks.I felt shame and embarrased to admit that too,but no matter how embarrased i’m, i would like to say thank you very very much2uguys.

Day goes by day, perhaps i was still childish among u all and hardly understand why u guys doing " that ".But i hope it doesn’t affect the relationship between me and u guys.If u guys need any help, just let me know i will be there for u.

My schedule? honestly, i looks like a person who always busy with own programmes and activities, but how many of you really know how i arranged my schedule.The answer is i don’t have any.Although my lifestyle fullfilled with my own programme , i also tried to mixed up with you guys as much as i could because i had wasted my time too much when i was in secondary.I felt much regret for what i’ve done last time and perhaps now is the time for me to pay.So , i would like to appologize for everything because i don’t join u guys not because of i don’t like it.I don’t join u guys so much recently is because i deserved it.

F0r my fellow net friends, i appologize that i couldn’t spend much time msg u or " keep in touch " with ya for this few months because i am kinda busy with my trial and vb tournament.So, maybe we can chat after that or in the coming hols.

Just tired of my lifestyle man~ u know, study.. vb training.. working..all these n that.. shouldn’t be a problem for me since i am 15..

i start learn what is " independent" since i am 15,no matter what i need, what i spend, i will find a part time job to get what it.

So far, i hav no prOblem facing anykind of finacial problem or school’s fees and so on.But, i just don’t understand why there are just people which will be so lazy.Lazy until they have to ask for help to get just a small things.Maybe Its a big deal to you and loOks small case to me but at least try to ask or search for the solution before asking help.

For examples, my dearest friends in school.When they need help or money they would like everything okay and no problem to promise you anything.The result is they can’t afford to pay you back even that they were from rich family.How could this happen? we as a friend, keep silent and his pride.or just say maybe we are poor people so we are fated to be kind and generous?(or maybe sound stupid)Be more reality won’t help against friend man.When they have trouble with money, i can borrow you!when you got problem with transport i can fetch you! When you are lonely i can accompany you.I am just so disappointed! WHY? Its because when i need you guys help.No one cares.

Sad, a bunch of friends keep shouting and telling everyone we are the best friends forever.We share everything We have and Face Problem together. Hahahaha.. thats so funny.. friends.. a cold blood creature.When they statified with what they have, they won’t even bother about whats happening to your best friend.Yet, keep quiet and joined others when i am no longer able to help you.

Brother and sisters, all were studying and working overseas.. wow thats sound cool !! yeah, everyone wished for it.Me too! i, as the youngest son in the family.I still studying, a student and i need to work for my tuition fees and daily use.I can still able to take care of both my parents well.. helping them whenever they need but sometimes you just can’t get things perfect.You have to scarafice something to get another.

Well, i admit i was way too strong from my outer look.I have no choice but have to pretend it.err..Who will let others know that his having some family problems and wants everyone using pity and concern facing you everyday?Well, Not me!i would rather said i skip class to cyber cafe or can’t wake up early in the morning than telling them i have to stay at house and help my mum!

i am weak, thats why i couldn’t arranged my schdule correctly and keep making wrong decisions.But, what for to make a schdule when your time got to faced sudden changed everyday and unexpected things keep coming.It was not easy to help a family.I learn alot these few years and i am happy i can able to handle it.

For my dear friends, i don’t mind that you don’t concern or even cares what i am doing and help me.But, do care that what i spend or use to help you was the best what i already had.Please i will never help you for other reason or any bad intention.I am sad cause i had 2 friends already misunderstood me.What i can say is, try to think back what i’ve told you and what i’ve scarafice to you.If you still think that a normal friend wouldn’t do such things for you then you’re wrong! I help you is not because i want somethings from you is because i think i am able to and i don’t like to see my friends in trouble!I hope you r reading this.

Recently,i felt very tired of everything.Thanks.. really thanks alot to you all that taught me such a wonderful lesson that i would never forget forever.